Afaka Manampy Aho!

One of the things many people asked me before I came to Madagascar was, "What are you most looking foreword to?" Common answers I would give included: Excitement to hang out with the kids I will be working with, the chance to see the country, and a feeling that my faith could simultaneously be challenged and strengthened. My expectations for these aspects have not fallen short. The kids I work with are some of the brightest points in my week. I have already seen some beautiful, unique, and overwhelming parts of the country. And my faith is being tested. In more ways than I expected. Yet while in certain areas I am facing deep struggle, others have been flourishing in a way only god could construct. It is still fairly early on too, and I can only expect that these outlooks will morph and grow as time goes on.

 But I think perhaps the biggest thing I came in looking foreword to was the opportunity and desire to become a part of the community. I'm not sure. No, I know that at the time I didn't really know what that would look like. In turn this has become one of the biggest areas of  challenge. I had visions of everything from being invited out every night to hang with the locals, to hi-fiving everyone on the road, to just blending right on in from the get go. Not so. I clearly stick out and rather than becoming assimilated into the community, have been finding it difficult to find my place, and my acceptance. Now this became clear to me early on so I started looking for ways to make those connections. One of the best ways, and one I have already written about is simply introducing myself to the people I see everyday. This has been such a wonderful way to get to know people, and to get people to know me. To create familiarity, and get hi-fives. With this in mind I started to look for more ways to be in the place I call home.

A unique opportunity presented itself a few weeks back. At the time I did not see how it would create a new way I approach life here. I suppose that is often how things work. I was walking into town a few weeks ago along the usual path. Up ahead I spotted a man pushing a wheelbarrow filled with many jugs of water. He turned off the road and began to push the barrow up a small embankment, until the tire became stuck on a rock. As I came closer he still could not move past the rock and the wheelbarrow was in danger of tipping. I was thinking to myself that I could, and should, jump in front and help him pull the load up to the top. I walked closer and closer and closer..... and passed him by as he still tried to overcome the obstacle. 

Wow. A missed service opportunity. I was not in a hurry. I had nothing urgent to do. I even thought about returning after passing, yet i restrained. Why? Because I didn't want to stick out even more? Because I was afraid he wouldn't accept the help? I couldn't figure out why I decided not to stop. All the reasons I tried to come up with were poor excuses. This event plagued my mind for the rest of the day. Being brought up in my life, and especially recently, believing that to help is perhaps one of the best ways to show acceptance and be received. To form relationships, groups, and become a part of a community. Was this not exactly what I was looking for? It was! it is! Maybe I missed out on that opportunity, on the other hand  maybe it took that missed chance to show me yet another way I can not only be of service but bridge the gap of culture. With that in mind and determined not to loose out on more service opportunities, I have adopted a new phrase.

"Afaka manampy Aho."- "Can I help?"

Armed with these words and the plan, I headed out. Here is a sampling what happened:

I learned to milk a cow.

Need a baby burped? Im your guy!

My host brother in law showed me the secret to making a delicious egg, mushroom, pepper, ham pie.  I helped lay bricks for the neighbors building a house.

A boy gave me one of the few hugs I have received here after carrying his bike up a hill.

I have become well read in the art of yogurt making

I had an fantastic conversation in Malagasy/Sign/English/ while moping a room.

A stranger asked if he could help carry some of the bibles that fell to the ground after the bag I was carrying them in ripped. 

I Thank God for presenting me with these simple words that have become so important. I am so grateful to all of the people who were pleased to accept help from me despite being a novice at many of the applications. For their willingness to be in relationship with me, and for the profound welcoming effect it has had. This is but another step of the continued grace I have come into here. I feel so lucky because what I have gained in return for a few words and a willing heart has been more beautiful than I can express.  So I will continue to help. Where there is need. Where their might not be an apparent need. When it is easy, and especially when it may be difficult or inconvenient. The payoff I have found, is far greater than a pat on the back.

St. Francis said it for a reason. A reason I come to know more clearly every day. "For it is in giving, that we truly receive." May it be so.

DO a deer an omby vave (with antlers)

Fear the Deer!

It all went down like this:

                                 

 I showed up for English Club and quickly realized that it would be me who was leading. None of the regular bilingual leaders would be able to make it. The group speaks about as much English as I speak Malagasy and I was completely unprepared to lead. Once we got to the room, I looked out the window, took in one of the previously aforementioned sunsets, and said a quick prayer of "help!"After struggling and stumbling through awkward introductions I was out of ideas. An awkward silence ensued while I tried to formulate a plan. Graciously one of guys asked a question. 

      

"Whats America like?" Yeah, OK I can answer that, just how to do it in an English form that is recognizable? "well it's uh, fast! very fast, and uh...." he interrupted. "what animals?" Oh good I can answer that to! "well we have deer, elk, horses, lots of birds, cows, raco....." "Whats a deer?" A deer? whats a deer? hmm good question, I should slow down. I forgot there are no deer here not to mention elk, or raccoons, and the Malagasy words for them. So how to describe a deer? "Yes a deer! well a deer is sort of like a cow. or omby. A little smaller, less smelly, not as colorful... (I pantomimed most of these descriptors), Yeah! Except they have antlers not horns." So I drew a cow on the board. ( It was an ugly cow). Then I drew two curved horns, pointed to them said, "horns." I then made two solid looking horns out of my arms on the top of my head said "horns". They seemed to understand. Next I erased the horns, drew antlers, pointed and said "antlers"! So I made split fingered antlers on my head said "antlers"!  A few more nods. I said "horns stay on, antlers fall off." To illustrate my point I set my water bottle on the table- "Horns." Then I knocked it off- "Antlers." "Horns" (bottle on the table) "Antlers" (knocked it to the ground.) And repeated about 5 times. Once again I think the message got through. "whats its noise?" uh oh. what does a deer sound like? Do I really want to make the noise I remember deer making? Yes, yes I do. "well its kinda like, um sort of uh well....." 

 I went for it. I put my hands up to my head, pranced around with big exaggerated knee high steps, gave the "deer in a headlights look" sniffed the air and made an obnoxious groan/whine/moan/shout deer call for over one minute. when I was done, and standing there out of breath and smiling, everybody just stared. Except one guy cracking up in the corner. Wow that was ridiculous! Might as well drive the point home know. "does anybody know the film, sound of music? no? OK well you know Do, Re, Me, Fa, So, La, Ti, Do! (I sang), (nods) Good! So - Doe a deer a female deer! On the board I wrote Vave-female-doe. Then Lahy-male-buck. and pointed respectively from "doe" to the deer I drew to "vave" back to the deer!  "Doe a deer a vave deer. Yes! That's what a deer is!" Mahay?" (understand) A few nods of the head, the guy in the corner was still laughing his butt off then someone said "so a deer is vave cow, has many horns that fall off, er antlers?" 

Exactly!

What did I learn? 

• Boy scouts first rule, one that I have usually always tried to follow..... ALWAYS BE PREPARED!  Weather I think I will be leading or not, always have something I can lead with. Song, dance, bible study, or English lesson, have something ready;
• Pray;
• Things will sill happen unexpectedly even if I have something prepared, so be flexible;
• Use what I know. A lifetime of experiences has given me a bag of resources to use such as the sound of music!

(Next week to explain RAY!)

Mans best friend.

Forever my best friend, Princeton

"If you have a dog, you will most likely outlive it; to get a dog is to open yourself to profound joy and, prospectively, to equally profound sadness."
Marjorie Garber

My Dog Died on Monday. I Feel the strain of distance now more than ever. I found out yesterday over e-mail. I cried harder than I expected, in the middle of an internet café trying to hide my tears, not wanting to stick out more than I already do. I did not get to say goodbye to my best friend, my confidant, the soul who knew everything and all about me, and not only never stopped loving me, but showed no change in friendship despite my burdens, baggage, and faults. I will go home in August looking for him, but will never see him again. I expected the cat to pass while I was away, but never my dog. I knew loss was a risk when I left, but I feel every single mile between Colorado and me. 

I woke up feeling tired, lonely and upset. I thought about what else I will miss while away. Weddings, births and birthdays, graduations, all of those little moments that make up the beautiful picture of memories. Deaths? who else will pass while I'm away? who have I not said that final goodbye to? OK I told myself, those are natural risks to the rewards of an experience, a life, like this. And if I want to continue doing service like this in my life, which I do, these will have to be things I endure. So I got out of bed. Yet all of this self talk crumbled easily upon entering the world I now inhabit. The everyday difficulties of living in such a foreign place, the difficulties that I have been weathering and, getting used to, and moving past, hit especially hard from the moment I left my room. 

The stares of people, the calling of Vaza, Vaza, the reality of distance. Language barriers, no water, power outages, sunburn, cramped bus rides, heat, worry, confusion, doubt, loss, all compiling and pounding till I felt I could not take it anymore..... AHHHH I had to stop, take a step back and reevaluate. Yes this is sad, my dog has died. Yes he was one of the closest souls to me on this earth. Yes I am upset and have every right to be. And yes living here is difficult at times and poses many unique challenges. No I have not and thank god I  haven't lost a person close to me. No I cannot afford to be dragged down into a pit of despair, letting this event augment and become about other difficulties I face here. And yes, yes I do need to find the time and space to grieve this loss and neither let it control me or suppress it. But where can I find the place to do that, and with who? In a country that dislikes dogs? A country where dog is not mans best friend and is not a household pet? Where dog keeps you up at night, and is dirty, and may steal food? I just didn't know. I told my host mother about the loss and she tried her best to console me, giving a warm hug, but the understanding was not there. So feeling down and disheartened I headed to one of my placements at a deaf and disabled school.

 Although I have only worked there for a few days, I have already grown to love the children there. I am always greeted with welcoming hugs, and laughter. Here unlike any place I have been yet I have been immediately accepted, and quickly began to feel better. Sitting down on the grass I watched the kids play, and caught up with the kids in my limited sign language. A puppy (of course) came over to me, one of many, and I started to pet it as it laid down next to me. I became lost in thought. At some point one of the girls I especially like, probably around six years old, got my attention, and through some more broken sign, asked if I was OK because I looked sad. I was able to respond that my dog had died the other day. She looked at me signed "that's hard, I'm sorry" and gave me a hug. I could hardly take the empathy, and genuine heartfelt care. I started to cry. slowly and silently at first, again trying to hide it, when another child noticed and joined the hug, and another, and another, until I was surrounded by a dozen kids in a massive group hug. I was done for. First trying to hold back the sobs then eventually letting myself be held by a web of children as I grieved the loss of a dog, a friend, a life that I knew.

 I shed the burden of death in that moment and opened myself up to new life. Life full of joy and sorrow, love and loss, newness and routine here in Madagascar. In that embrace I felt a peace that had yet to grace me in my journey. And I let the very kids, who I believe it is my duty and honor to love, love me. I will never forget Princeton, nor the life that I left at home. But I think I am just that much more willing to become a part of Madagascar, sharing my experiences, and memories from home, here, and in turn letting myself release into to mystery of what lies ahead. I believe this will not only honour who I am, and those that have shaped me, but open myself up to be shaped by the people here who, if I'm lucky, I may touch as well. I miss home. I sometimes struggle with the differences here. I miss my dog. Oh god I miss my dog, and always will. Yet those children created the space for me to recognize, feel, and move foreword. So for Princeton, and for children everywhere, Thank you.

"If we wish to create a lasting peace we must begin with the children" Ghandi

Many Skies...

The two wonderful birds that doth givith their lives!

     Wow! soooo much to think about, so much to talk about! I was hoping to have another post up before I left orientation, and did...... but accidentally deleted it. AHHH! Technology givith and taketh away. In it I was pondering the value of food, its importance, how I have viewed it, and how my views have changed. specifically after cutting the head of a chicken off and then participating in the rest of the preparation process. Food is truly a gift! But I think I will save that subject for later on this year when I'm over being bitter about the last post.

                                                                      

(All pictures taken in Madagascar ex where noted)

     For now what I have been contemplating is the sky. For all of the changes in coming to Madagascar, the new people, places, environments. The anxieties of speaking (in Malagasy) in front of ten thousand people. The joys of successfully navigating a bus route and making a store purchase. The comfort of settling in with my host family, and finding companionship. And the loneliness of being so far away from what I have called home for years.( More stories to come I promise!) I cant help but notice the sky is still the same sky no matter where I have been. Whether on top of a mountain in Colorado, on the great plains, or on the porch here in Madagascar, the sky, however unique, is still the same celestial sphere! And what a truly remarkable sky Madagascar presents! I have always been blown away by the beauty of the heavens, no matter where I have been, and here has been no different. God surely puts a personal touch into the setting sun each night, and I am humbled by its elegance.

     Sounds all very romantic and poetic right? So in true form I wrote a poem about the sky! ( adapted into a song but no recording materials are present.) Yup, here goes....

Looking up at the sky tonight, I gaze in wonder at a million simple lights.
And I feel at home, no I'm not alone when you look up in the night and see the same dancing light.
And I have to stop, Ten Thousand miles away and know that in the moon there is nothing more to say.
So I feel alright in the middle of the night, because I trust that in the beauty of the star were not that far apart.

And when I see the beauty in a sunset,
my heart just will not let me forget the gift of all creation, and how it's shared in every nation.
For you and for me from the mountain to the sea,
 it's for him and for her who they are who they were,


Oh the sky is just the same no matter of your name, where you go let it                                                          show that there's so much room to grow.

Looking out upon the sky today, I stare and ponder and it takes my breath away.
Because the clouds are making shapes that only God could create.
I've seen them in the Rocky Mountains, I've seen them on the coast the waves were shouting!
I saw them when I was young and I think I've just begun to see...

That there's a slender thread we all seek,
it's the peace that passes all we understand.
When I look to the heavens I see that peace made complete, I see it in the sun the moon n' sky as it spreads across the land.

I wonder if we could let our doubt drift away like a rolling cloud in an effortless day
I believe that we will see all our hopes set free and fly when we give them to the spirit in the sky.

Taking in the sky again, my souls at ease, I'm not worried about the whens,
yes ill take it all in stride, jump in and take a ride,
because I know that in the splendor of the sky there is peace that I will rely.

"Look at the sky. We are not alone. The whole universe is friendly to us and conspires only to give the best to those who dream and work."

-Abdul Kalam

Rainbow Trail Lutheran Camp, Where I really Latched onto this ideia

Fantastic! Nearly a week in the country I am now calling home. 
     What a week it has been too.  Such incredible cultural and ecological differences. For example: We, ( the other 5 Yagms Austin, our coordinator and I) went for a short walk around Tana (antanarivo the capitol) the other day. The external stimulus was extreme. So much to look at! street venders everywhere selling everything from sunglasses to Kuba (mashed peanut and Banana loaf, Delicious!), Eye catching colors everywhere of billboards, cars, posters, trees, houses, shacks and the lake ranging from blue to black to yellow and red. The sound of honking never stops. horns are used for passing, letting someone know your there, thanking them for letting you pass and general exclamation  To expand on this the only rule of the road is there are no rules. Pass at will, drive as fast as you can and weave through people, taxis, taxi busses, bikes, sometimes on the other side of the road. Oh and honk for every action. Awesome. (this might make it hard to drive in the states again!) People are talking constantly to each other and to us. considering at that time all we knew was Salma! or hello! it made it very interesting, even intimidating at times. the kids call us Vasa or white and ask for money, although we have none! And the smell of the city is unlike anywhere else i have ever been. Salty fried food on the side of the road, thick exhaust, sweaty tiny haircut shacks, Sweet candy, Pungent trash, and a melting pot of who knows what else combine in a cloud of nose tingling aroma. The Plants Range from Massive 7 foot diameter 25ft cactus, to Bright Red flowers 10 feet tall. Massive plants with huge leaves, trees that are just sprouting green leaves from the end of brown banana like protrusions, and everything in-between. oh and this is the city. To top it all off we passed a government facility with AK-47 toting guards. Intense!
    After a day in Tana we headed down to Antsirabe where we will be spending three weeks of in country orientation, including language training!!! More NASCAR driving on the way down! And again a very many differences from the states. Here though I have begun to notice similarities as well. We went for a walk the other day. Starting out of where we are staying we headed through a market. Again very different. Here even more so noticing how we stand out. Everywhere we went we were clearly looked at for being the only Vasa around. I could feel myself tensing up and becoming uncomfortable. My jaw tightened up and was very aware of our "out of town" presence. More stimuli form everywhere. Kids with dirt on their face asking for money, people asking us for Pousse Pousse rides. ( little two person carts towed by a bare foot "driver") they were everywhere. Again more fascinating smells and sounds from the market. Heading out of town we passes a Futbol match and distracted the crowd from the game as all the heads turned to watch us. quickly we became more isolated as we were heading to a hill on the outside of town to climb.
     And now I was amazed. What happened next shifted my whole thinking for the week and I feel will be a blessing for my time here. As we walked up the hill the landscape turned into something very reminiscent of a Colorado forest! The trees were similar. the geography of a rising mountain looked like it could be in my back yard. It smelled the same and birds chirping sent me back to Maxwell Falls. I started to think of similarities rather than differences. And not to sound like a "change you life book" I began to think of the similarities the people here and I share. Once at the top of the hill I took time to think about this. I remember noticing once, and then being intentional, about the power of and how far a Smile ill go. This has been clearly reiterated to me in the few days I have spent in Madagascar, where there is a large gap in communication and many cultural differences. Kindness simply is a universal language that breaks down barriers and opens up opportunities for further, meaningful connections! So I decided to put it into practice. Coming back down from my Colorado forest into the city I smiled. Low and behold people smiled back. My tension dropped dramatically. Now this was not the case for everyone, and I still had many guards up, But the difference was tangible. 
      I am resolved to focus the commonality I share with the Malagasy people while I am here. The human experience is the same regardless of where we are. Our basic needs for love, companionship, heatlh, encompass thousands of miles. It is going to be difficult. I may want to give up at times. theres a distinct possibility that not everyone will respond. and at times I may not respond, but we are in this together. My mission for this year is to integrate into the culture and see how we are the same, while using our differences to make each other stronger. For now though I am warmed by the immage of a young man who we passed on the way out of town that I looked at and was intimidated by, who then gave me a smile once I smiled at him on the way back in.
Love in Christ,
Lee

So this is the first night in Madagascar! So pumped! It took 38 hours to get here what a load of travel. Feeling tired smelly and absolutely thrilled to be here. driving through the city today was an expierence. Very different. the roads have no common rules we expierence in the states. if you want to pass someone you should pass. no lights. no speeding laws. Loved it! sights, sounds, can't wait to get involved and start immersing in this culture which will be home! For now though im exausted so Im going to get the first horizontal sleep in two nights ;) Ready and willing Madagascar, thank god for safe travels and this unbelievable expierence.

Leaving the states!

So I guess this is my first official post! Heading out to Madagascar today!! The journey takes about two days so travel will be a lot of fun. Just spent an amazing week in Chicago at orientation, with an absolutely amazing group of people! I think im as ready as i will ever be, so jacked for this opportunity its going to be an amazing time. Definitely nervous but i think something would be wrong if i wasn't. SOOOOO here goes! Thank you so much to EVERYONE who has been with me on my journey! Friends Family, shout outs to RTLC and ELC. Without all of your love and support im not sure where i would be but it wouldent be nearly as good as this! SO INTO THE BREACH WE GO!!!

My placement

Madagascar is the island off the eastern coast of Africa

 In August I will leave to serve with YAGM through the ELCA. I will be living and serving in Madagascar for a year. To learn more about the program, check out the website: ELCA Young Adults in Global Mission